Nice to Meet you

You meet him here like you have met him here for 1,000 years. They tell you his name but when your eyes lock with his you already had that conversation between the two of you as your Souls fit into each other. A thousand years of feelings flood your body and you are drunk on his love. He puts his hand out to shake your hand as if to complete the formal introduction. You look down reluctant to touch him. You lightly shake his hand fully expecting to be struck by lightning. As his cool skin makes the first millisecond of contact with you Every nerve in your body erupts in simultaneously fireworks going off all over your body. You glance up to see if he just felt that, he was already staring at you. The rest of the world stopped existing and you are a puddle of yourself in front of this man you have just met for the 1000th time and the rest of your life.

If Nothing Changes Story

This was an exercise I did for a class called Lab in 2015 with Amy Oscar. It was to bring our awareness to the Story we seem to be in. So we could recognize where we were and also what areas of the Story that were no longer supporting us.

Reading this a year later sort of makes me Laugh because Man did I wake up and make changes last year. This could explain why I am feeling like my body is need or asking me to rest so much this year.

So here is the dialogue or download or conversation I had with myself about my story May 2015:
If nothing changes she will continue to be broke working starter admin jobs that she has a natural gift to excel in but does not get any personal pay off doing.  She will also keep getting her feelings hurt hearing her kid say that he wants his dad to pick him up from school and watch the fit he has when he tells her he wants to stay with dad every night especially since she stayed home with him the first 5yrs of his life.  If nothing changes she will keep feeling misunderstood by her family who does not understand spirituality or intuition they only understand religious rules that are dictated to them for their understanding.  If nothing changes her not making a choice to take charge of her life and give it direction will be her choice.  If nothing changes her marriage will continue to be the hardest thing she has ever done in this life.  If nothing changes I will create a pretty picture of a life that is not real.  And just like Facebook Everyone will believe that shit!

Momma

Today started like every other the alarm went off she told herself just 1 more hour. She wakes up and the kids are coming in the door from school. She told herself yesterday she wasn't going to sleep all day. She throws the sheets back putting all of her energy into standing up. Teetering she stands there a minute finding her balance thinking about the bed and how it loves her. She loves how sleep is blackness how time swirls past so quickly how when she is sleeping real life doesn't exist and she can be whoever she wants in her dreams and feel only the things she wants to feel. It is her escape and she would choose it over her Real Life any time.

The kids are done with their homework and their chores and are now picking fights with each other because they are bored. They are pulling her in all directions one is hungry, one wants the wifi password, and the other one is locked in the room with the music entirely too loud. Don't they know she is about to loose it? Can't they tell she is on the verge. She can feel the anxiety building up and the tightening in her body.

She is trying to wipe down the counters and throw laundry in the washer and sweep the kitchen before her husband gets home in the next 15minutes. So she can hide the fact she spent the entire day asleep. Her life is hard she tells herself a tear rolls down her cheek.

The door flies open and the kids rush dad as he makes his way past the kitchen where she is standing he is fighting off the kids to set his work stuff down.
'Did he even see me standing here? Does it even matter? Could I be just anyone?'
He comes back only to ask what she is making for dinner and takes the kids to play in the living room without waiting for the response.

She open the freezer finds the chicken nuggets and throws them on a pan into the oven. We can be healthy tomorrow she thinks to herself. She turns to the cabinet to pull paper plates out as she hollers at the kids asking them what they would like to drink. 15mins later she divides up nuggets onto the plates and tells them dinner is ready.

Feeling invisible they talk around her at dinner. Dad directs the conversation for the kids as she zones out of her life. The dryer buzzer awakens her as the kids scatter from the table. The only thing Dad asks her is Did you sleep all day again? She resists the urge to have a screaming match. She hates how accusatory that sounds. Fuck Him she thinks. She rolls her eyes and says No!

She gets up from the table picking up everyone's plates and cups and putting away the ketchup.  Why don't they do this themselves she thinks they are not babies anymore and I'm tired! A black knot appears in her gut and she feels like it's tar like poison seeps her veins.

She tells the kids to take their baths as she folds their laundry and sweeps the kitchen. She finds Dad on the couch with the TV on scrolling his phone. The 2 younger kids are having a sword fight jumping from the couch to the love seat over to the coffee table. Toys cover the floor. The Baby says Look Mommie this is a moat around the castle. Dad is ignoring them jumping on the furniture. I'll never have nice things she thinks. Have you had your bath she asks it's almost 8pm. No they both say and she goes to run some water.

After she gets the kids to bed she pours a glass of wine and heads to the bath herself. Dad has migrated into the bedroom and as she reaches for the door He says are you going to go clean up for me? Are you fucking kidding me she thinks, and she says For what? I don't know he says I thought you'd want me. She throws up in her mouth that this is her love life. No I'm good she shakes her head and locks the door to the bathroom.

She lights a few candles for herself and turns out the lights and slips into the bath with her wine. She turns the water as hot as she can stand it. It feels good falling straight down over her feet. She thinks how invisible she is to her family and she feels her blood pressure drop from the heat of the bath. She takes her last sip of wine and slides underwater without a breath.

3D Pin Wheel Square

Start by picking 2 different fabrics. Then decide which is going to be the background fabric and which is going to be the pinwheel.

Start by cutting the background fabric into 4-6inch squares and set aside for now.

Then cut the pinwheel fabric into 4-5inch squares

This is my pinwheel fabric and where the fun begins

Fold the pinwheel fabric on the diagonal all four squares and finger press

Then bring the bottom right of the triangle over to the bottom left and finger press

When I got this part done I took it to the iron and pressed it for real

Then lay your background fabric down and place 1 pinwheel fabric in the same corner of each background square.

Then I arrange the pieces into the pinwheel shape

Then you can pin if you want and I folded Left onto Right and sewed at 1/4 in seam

After left onto right squares are sewn together then line up the center, again you can pin if you want, and finish with a seam in the middle at 1/4 in seam

This is how your square will come out.

See how the pinwheel makes these cute little pockets? LOVE IT!

Doctor Doctor Give Me The News

Today I had an appointment to see my family physician. WooHoo is he Hot! So in preparation I take a nice long Hot shower shaving every crevice of my body...just in case. Broke out my bath and body lotion I save for special occasions and lathered myself all up. Put on the smallest sexy-est pair of panties. Squeezed into the cutest thing I had in the closet. Poofed up my hair and smeared all the make-up I could get on. Oh and coordinated G's outfit with mine. I didn't really have to wait long in the waiting room and the nurse got a toy and brought it to G from one of the other rooms. My apt today was about my toe. G is going to be 9mos on July 1 if you have kids this age then you know and if you don't I'll refresh your memory. They do not want to be still. He wants to crawl and pull up on things and try to climb things, anything but be in you lap. So I could hear Doc leave the room next to mine and pause at the door for my chart and I am trying to scoop up G so he doesn't get hit with the door and envisioning what Doc may be wearing and all in the same second Doc walks in and G has grabbed a hold of my shirt and my bra and my boobs fall out of my shirt. OMIGAWD!!! His eyes are popping out of his head and I am completely mortified!!! I am at this time am looking for a place to set down my son and put myself back together and feeling totally guilty about those thoughts I was having about him. And he says Aw don't worry that happens to my wife all the time. I should have just left right then because I was so messed up that I could not remember what I had even come there for. I am sure he has seen a ton of boobs he is a doctor, but I am not sure those girls were thinking what I was thinking so I just felt horribly embarrassed!

Booger Jungles

Have you ever thought to blow your nose before going into the dentist? I wonder how many Booger Jungles he has to look at a day. They must teach you in dental school not to say anything about the inside of peoples noses...I think I wouldn't be able to contain myself if someone had a big green froggy booger creeping out of their nose. Just a thought.

Moore Animal Life

Jeff and I spent our day at his Family Reunion at a park in Benbrook with G. It got really hot while we were there and was the main reason we had to leave. G was getting sleepy and hot. We have to drive home through the country and I saw the cows loose in a pasture. They were Black cows. And I started thinking how it would suck to be a cow never experiencing the air conditioning, only eating hay, flies, and then to live it all to be killed and eaten. That sounds like a horrible life.

So I turned to Jeff and asked him what kind of Animal he might have been in a previous life. We started thinking about stuff like does he like winter or summer, we decided both. Daytime or night time, probably daytime. How he eats, whatever portion you set in front of him. And he loves to drink water. So I concluded that he must be a dog. A very loyal playful dog so I am gonna say a Lab and that was his persistence to get our "Hunting" dog Trapper.

So after we thought some more about that, I asked him what animal he thought I was. Without skipping a beat he said possum. I said really? Why? He tells me because I am nocturnal. I always have G attached to me like a baby possum. And I can turn mean if provoked. I think he must be right.

The next thing that crossed my mind is that we just crossed a Labrador with a possum...so G must be a Baby Lassum

One Seam Flying Geese

I found a video on youtube how to do this so thank you Ricky whoever you are for learning this from those European Gals and showing us. I am going to use this as my instructions to show my quilt guild so they may be a little elementary for advance quilters (Maimi my Amy). Here goes. Start by having your cutting mat, 2 fabrics, rotary cutter, ruler, iron, and machine/bobbin all ready to go.

Cut Fabric 1 into a 3in strip

Cut Fabric 2 into 3in squares

Then cut Fabric 1 into rectangles 3in x 5 1/2in

This is what you should have when you are done to this point

Then take one rectangle of Farbric 1 and fold it in half and two squares of Fabric 2

Place one Fabric 2 square face up and put Fabric 1 ontop of it with the fold away from you and line up the free edge to the bottom of Fabric 2 square. Note: the folded fabric will not reach all the way across the 3in square fabric 2 there should be 1/4in at the top (That's hard to word see picture for better explaination)

Then place the other Fabric 2 square on top of this wrong side face up

With the Folded Fabric 1 at the Top of your sandwhich sew down the right side of square. You can pin if you need to, I just used them to demonstrate where to sew.

Sewing 1/4 in seam all the way down is just as important as always!

When your done, with the Fold to the Top open the Top Fabric 2 square and Iron your seam open

With your Right hand put your index finger on the back side of the folded Fabric 1 and Fabric 2 square

With your left hand pinch the bottom corner of the folded Fabric 1 and pull it to the bottom corner of Fabric 2 that you have ironed open

This will make a pocket

Iron out smooth making sure all four edges line up

The rest is how I finished up the strip I cut. Yall Enjoy! Please Comment if you have any questions or I confused you with a step. Or if these were fantastic instructions let me know that too and I'll keep the little short cuts and how to's comming.

Have a Happy Day Blog Land

T

Ok there is some debate about a Yellow Basket. Do you remember the nursery rhym that says A Tisket A Tasket A Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah? Well in my not so decent memory it was a red and yellow basket. That is the only line of that silly song I could remember so I decided to look up on the internet the next line. And I found that even they are confused what color the basket was. Some say green and yellow Some say brown and yellow. The next line is about writting a letter and seems like the internet is not sure if they wrote the letter to the mommy or the love. From what I read this is a song kids will sing while sitting in a circle and the concept is like duck duck goose. Here is the Wikapedia verison: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A-Tisket,_A-Tasket. Here is another website that has a few of the versions: http://bussongs.com/songs/a_tisket_a_tasket.php Here is the Brown and Yellow version: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/a-tisket-a-tasket-lyrics-ella-fitzgerald/5f3e2c5f547cde5f48256d290029ccc4sf/a-tisket-a-tasket-lyrics-ella-fitzgerald/5f3e2c5f547cde5f48256d290029ccc4. It is not letting me copy the lyrics so I am sorry about the links. Anyway I would have figured a song as old as that we would all have the same lyrics down by now. I think I am going to consult Mother Goose about this. I feel like a piece of my childhood is now an unstable memory because we can not agree on the lyrics of the Tisket Tasket Song.

Something to think about my little Bloggers

T

Graveyard at my house

I have a pond in my Huge Flower bed up front. I have been having some trouble with the pump this year. It will pump really good and trickle the water and then in a few hours you can't even see the water moving although there is a tiny current under water. Well every spring I buy a dozen or so goldfish to throw in there and instead of giving them each a name I just call them my muppet babies. This year I have found some interesting things in my pond. I've had 2 dead birds, a frog who was stuck, and a grey lizard. This morning I went to check on my muppet babies and they are all dead. The misquitoes have been so bad this year that Jeff sprayed the yard and I just found out that he may have got some of that poision in my water. Well say a little prayer for them as you go about your day. I miss the muppet baby show.

Have a good day my little blog land

T

Ring A Ding Dong

Jeff got me a Droid phone for Christmas...well we got matching ones(gay) but they are really cool phones. So I have been downloading apps and stuff. Some of my favorite apps are Facebook ofcourse, and Craigsphone(craigslist for your phone), and Pandora Radio and I have a really good ringtone app called Mabilo. So I have been downloading all my favorite tunes to be yalls ringtones. If you want to know what yours is just leave a comment and I will respond with the song I picked. But as I am doing this my phone contacts have become more of an address book (over 275 contacts)than people that actually call me. As I am matching up cool tunes with my favorite people it dawns on me that I will never hear my phone play my ringtone. But I don't answer calls that I don't have the number saved so I am torn. Do I delete and clean up my phone address book or just keep my numbers and wait for the day my favorite song plays? Jeff claims that keeping that many numbers eats up the amount of storage space on my phone, I think he is just jealous that he doesn't know that many people.

Mini Cat

Have you ever noticed that the smaller things are the more cute they are? Well except for diamonds...I was thinking about this the other day. It wasn't good enough to just have a yorkie which are small dogs weighing only 3lbs or so. We had to have teacup yorkies that weigh only a few ounces. Same with Chihuahua's. A dog that only weighs a few oz in my house would live on life support. Jeffs big clodhoppers, my big dogs, things falling off the counter, G trying to pet it, hell even flushing the toilet could turn into a whirlpool for the poor thing.

I have even noticed this with baby things. Baby little pillows, Tiny baby shoes, Baby little wranglers, the itty bitty premie onesies. All much cuter than the adult size.(snicker adult onsies) I found this to be true of a few adult things also like the One Seater Enviro Cars (That's what I call them) vs a Honda Civic. The expresso size cup vs coffee cup. Anyway I can tell you are following me at this point. Jeff was taking me out for dinner the other night and we were not going to have G with us, So I wanted to dress up just a little. So I threw on this top I use to love to wear. It is low cut kinda of a cris cross top black and white cheetah print. I was standing in the mirror doing my hair took about 30 or so mins and then my make-up another 30ish mins. When it came to me! And I raced into the bedroom and tore that top off of me and snached a Black Sun dress out of the closet. And Jeff says "What in the hell was wrong with what you had on?" And I said if it looks like you had an African Safari to shoot a Cheetah and wear the whole thing as a top then you probably shouldn't be wearing animal print. (As if you wouldn't have to shoot a cheetah to wear just the front quarter, you could just borrow that much and give it back right) So all my animal print tops are now in the trash. And I recommend there be a major retail recall on all animal print clothing items larger than size 10-11.

What my top should have looked like: What it did look like:

Also I have found my coffee recipe it's 2 shots of creamer, 2 tablespoons of Hot Chocolate, 1 tablespoon sugar topped off with coffee

Coffee Smoffee

For the last 29years, I have watched my parents drink their cups of coffee. And the first sip is always so painful looking then they go on about drinking as if they love it. I figure after the first sip they have scalded their taste buds so bad that the flavor must be tolerable.

While I was in college Starbucks started showing up. A friend of mine Deanna Dawn got me hooked on White Chocolate Mocha's but I could only have a cup every once in a while when I could afford it. And it doesn't really taste anything like coffee.

So since my son has his internal clock set for a time of morning that I rarely see I thought I could morph myself into a coffee drinker. I bought me some of the expensive Coffee Makers, Coffee Cream Chocolate Toffee and a matching Chocolate truffle Folgers coffee. I made my first cup this morning. I got my 8oz mug that I usually use for Hot Tea (my friend Kelly picked it out) then I read the package to find out how many scoops, then I put in the exact measurement. I had my usual breakfast cookies and milk while I waited for my coffee to brew and poured me a cup when it was done. Yep tasted just as I remembered nasty! I added my special cream and that just changed the liquid to another color and still tasted nasty. Went to the cabinet to see if I had anything to make it drinkable. I grabbed some sugar and some hot chocolate. The sugar took out the bitter taste and the hot chocolate made it taste like a Mocha.

I want to believe that coffee has a super power amount of caffeine in it more than what I could get from drinking a coke. But with all the crap I just put in mine to be able to swallow it I doubt that there is enough coffee left in it to make my running shoes fart.
Have a Great Morning Blog Land!

Canyon of the Eagles Camping Trip 5-(20-23)-2010

Jeff and I kind of have a tradition of going camping every year to our Favorite Park in the Hill Country at a place called Inks Lake.

(Previouse Trip to Inks Lake Pictures from 2006)

This year all the family wanted to go with us so I was late making reservations to Inks Lake, but since we loved the Hill Country so much I figured anywhere in that area would be just as good. So there were some other parks mentioned at the State Park Reservation Office and I asked the family which they thought and by looking around on the webpage we decided on Canyon of the Eagles. Have a look around their website see what you think. http://www.canyonoftheeagles.com/

We have never camped on Lake Buchanan so this was gonna be a new experience for all of us. We knew that the campsite didn't have electricity and that you had to drive to the restrooms or use the port a john. On the way down RR2341 it was really pretty with wild flowers and hills where you could see the crest of the lake and the lake homes. Then we got to the park and there is a small building just inside the gate (we figure to check in at) its empty...so we drive up to the Lodge and found a sign that said guest registration doors locked. Finally Jeff went in the restaurant and asked the cook where to go and he said there would be a guy by the RV camping sites. (Pat) real nice guy, we had reserved 2 sites because we had more that 6 people camping but he said that they were very relaxed around here and to make it cheaper on us he thought we could all camp on 1 site. (Remember we haven't seen the sites to this point) he gave us directions back up to the front of the park near the first small building there is a "road" to the right we could pick any site we wanted except the sites that said reserved. We turn onto this trail not much bigger than a hiking trail and picked out Site #8 because it had a circle type drive and we thought it would be easier on Jeff pulling the boat. This is what our site Looked Like. Uncle Fred grabbing a drink from the water faucet.

Now you might think that Shade in the beginning of Summer in Texas would be a welcome site...but Shade like this is so thick that there was not a breeze. My brother made a weedeater out of some string and a rock so we would have places to set up our tents. He also cut us a path down to the would be lake. I say would be because last summer the lake dried up 20feet and with the rain we have had this year it has only comeback 10 feet so there was 10 more feet of marshy yuck that would be under water but wasn't so Jeff had to leave the boat on the trailer.

He did find a public boat ramp about 15miles up the road and took me out one day on Lake Buchanan. Man we had hell getting the boat launched because the gusts were so strong and the swells were so big we go soaked our dog Trapper went with us and by the end of the trip he was climbing up into my lap. So since we couldn't get out in the boat and swim I took my nephew and G down to Inks Lake about 30miles from the park we were at and they had a good time splashing around. Jeff and Brother followed us in the boat and they went fishing while we played. We were there about 2hours and a storm rolled in so we packed up and headed back to camp. But we didn't get any rain there and still no breeze. I think I probably would not have lasted even an hour except Jeff and I went to Wal-Mart the first night and picked up a battery operated fan and I just carried that thing all over camp with me and G. So my point is that if you want a good Hill Country Camping Experience take the time plan ahead and make reservations for Inks Lake about 3months in advance. Because Camping at Canyon of the Eagles is just an after thought to their Lodge and Cabins if you can afford to stay in them.

Random Ramblings of a Crazy Person

Spent most of the day with my best buddie Kandi, Man that girl has a tornado of drama surrounding her at all times. I learned that White Trash, lack of education, cps and prison somehow all roll up together. She was given custody of her cousins baby by cps a few months ago and today we sat in McDonalds with the dad of the baby who is on his way to prison. (Nice huh)

On another note I have been a quilting bum! But you see my quilting buddie (see above) has been very busy.

Today I cleaned the front porch of our house moved my plants around added a double movie chair that I have reupholstered and made cute with some stars. I painted a old plant stand red. It made me feel better but G(that is what I call my son) didn't like it at all.

Well goodnight little Blog Land
T